There are so many blogs out there with best of lists. So I’m gonna up the ante and make my BEST OF EVER list. If you cannot fathom this list, then you are too stupid to read it. Why? Because only elegant and sophisticated readers can appreciate something that is so genuine that would make even God cry. Yes, this list is that List that will kill all lists.
- Best Olympian: We will start here with the Olympics because…well it’s the friggin Olympics!! That would go to…not Michael Phelps but Usain Bolt! The man isn’t from any established country or a crazy medal count country (ahem, US and China). He’s a wide-eyed Olympian who knows how to have a good time and recently got an earful from the IOC chief for showboating.
- Best Movie: The Dark Knight. It’s THE movie of 2008. It’s a comic book movie. Geeks all love it so I’d be crazy not to make it Best Movie. Plus The Joker (I refuse to call him Heath Ledger because Ledger wasn’t in the movie, only the Joker was) just creep me out every moment he was onscreen. The pencil trick set the tone for the rollercoaster ride we call 2.5 hours of pure adrenaline that I’m sure busted the bladders of geeks and movie fans alike.
- Best Basketball Team: Original Dream Team. The “Redeem Team” is adequate, but they’re all brash and probably too weighed down by their bling necklaces, bling earings, bling shoes, bling grillz, bling shorts, and bling undies. Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Karl Malone…the list goes on are legends. How can talented wannabes ever replace legends?
- Best Free Email: Gmail hands down. Gmail’s responsive interface is just plain awesome. It may take you about 10 mins to realize what’s going on, but just the way it compacts email threads is genius. That and the fact that it’s got free POP Mail along with a host of other features I’m too lazy to mention here are reason alone this is the best email system that ever lived! Plus it’s STILL IN BETA, so imagine how cool it would be out of beta!!
- Best Operating System: Windows XP Professional. Because VISTA sucks like a porn star gone hungry. MAC is fine, but I don’t know how to use it because I’m too poor to own it and I can’t really justify having an OS that was probably designed for Jesus so he can use it with his Jesus phone. Oh yeah and Linux, Ubuntu is great to talk about and prove you’re a h4ck0rz, but for the rest of us, there’s no need to spend 30 minutes configuring my sound card to work on it. Also all the free software are available on Windows; like Photoshop and MS-Office…
- Best Gaming System: SNES. The Genesis gave the SNES a run for its money with Sonic, but once people realize that all they were looking at was a blue blur dashing across the screen they got tired and sat down to use their brains a bit on Secret of Mana, Chorno Trigger. After that they moved onto Street Fighter II Turbo and then washed it down with some classic Super Mario World and of course top off finale with Zelda: Link to the Past.
- Best Facebook Feature: It’s not the ability to develop applications on FB. It’s the fact that I can DELETE stupid Apps that take up all of the real estate on my profile. What the fuck is a Werewolf app? What the hell is a Facebook Gift and why the fuck do I need a I need a SEXY App to already lower my self esteem by comparing me to others of my peers? Do we need all that shit? NO.
